I have this cheap fabric softener that congeals if it sits too long.  So I give it a good shake before use.

Tonight, I gave that blue jug one mighty heave and the shit exploded everywhere, mostly in my face.

I guess I didn’t tighten the cap the last time I used it.

A deep primal instinct told me to cry, but i stifled it.  I staggered to the kitchen and stuffed my head under a deluge of cold water from the kitchen faucet.  For a split second, I was frozen in shock.  It was like getting slapped in the face with a soapy pie.

Then I ran to the bathroom to rinse my burning eyes with saline solution.

What a mess.  Lesson learned.