Monthly Archives: August 2013

Fragrant Pies From Hell

Posted on by
Reply

I have this cheap fabric softener that congeals if it sits too long.  So I give it a good shake before use.

pieface

Tonight, I gave that blue jug one mighty heave and the shit exploded everywhere, mostly in my face.

I guess I didn’t tighten the cap the last time I used it.

A deep primal instinct told me to cry, but i stifled it.  I staggered to the kitchen and stuffed my head under a deluge of cold water from the kitchen faucet.  For a split second, I was frozen in shock.  It was like getting slapped in the face with a soapy pie.

Then I ran to the bathroom to rinse my burning eyes with saline solution.

What a mess.  Lesson learned.

Game Over

Posted on by
1

Last day on the job. It’s always a mix of feelings. The strongest are relief and excitement. Humility and sadness aren’t far behind.

insert-coin

It feels good to quit.  The yoke of anxiety and mundane responsibility slowly lifts off my shoulders.  A fresh breeze of anticipation wafts in as I prepare for a new journey.  I’ll be meeting new people and learning new things.  I have a chance to start again with renewed hope and the will to do it better.

My work life reminds me of the video arcades I frequented when I was a kid.   After playing for a while, I get tired and move to another machine.  My jobs are not entertainment devices, but they do contain puzzles to solve and challenges to answer.  And, like the cursed video games, victory isn’t always within reach.  Sometimes the game is too hard and I don’t have the skill to win it.  Sometimes I don’t have enough resources (quarters, hours, colleagues).  But usually, the game just loses its appeal.

ejection-seat-af-acesii

It’s touching when co-workers wish me luck and say goodbye.  I try not to look too happy.  I’m the one leaving. I enjoy these times of change.  But sometimes people are stuck.  Maybe the company isn’t doing well.  Maybe he has a shitty job he can’t get out of. Maybe she has an incompetent boss. Whatever the reason, I have to be somewhat sensitive as I yank the ejection handle.

So bust out the donuts, cue the 2 hour lunches, clean out the cubicle, and let’s get this over with!  It’s been good to know (most of) you, but it’s time to hit the road again!